her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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