It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
