Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
