Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
