Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
