I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
