What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
