This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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