Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
