I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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