It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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