they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
