fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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