so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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