Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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