Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
