Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
