Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
