Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
