If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
