im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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