Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
