were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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