How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The adults are the big ones right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
