Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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