everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
