I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
