it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
