Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
