Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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