There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
