The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
