Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
