You're so nebulous sometimes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
