my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nutella sex= disaster
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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