i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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