haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
