it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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