I'm really into asian looking animals
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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