chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's like iHOP with fire
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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