my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
