Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
