I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
