i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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