margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize