It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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