im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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