Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
