I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
