Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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