so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
