just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
