Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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