Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
