i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
