I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
