at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
