i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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