Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
