I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Of course I have a pirate flag
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
