He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
