that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
only you would photoshop your dick
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
